Everyone's a little v[e]in

The following was written on June 13, 2007 after I had a colonoscopy. To some this could be seen as gross or something that shouldn't be talked about. I disagree. On June 30, 2004, I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, an autoimmune digestive disorder that causes inflammation of the small intestine. Symptoms include nausea, fatigue, diarrhea (yes, I said it), vomiting and others. Some don't want to talk about it because the symptoms are taboo, but, a lot of people suffer and it's worth giving the subject a little light. To learn more about Crohn's Disease, visit www.ccfa.org.

"Everyone's a little v[e]in"

On Tuesday, my colon had its first photo shoot. Now, my colon isn't quite like other colons. It's shy. It's been victimized by terrorist cells (TNF-Alpha) and in turn, it has shriveled up, turned black, and tried to turn away from friends trying to pay a visit (food). We've tried and succeeded for the most part in rehabilitating it, but sometimes it reverts to its old ways. Lately it has been telling food to stay away, so my doctor figured we should investigate and do a little introspective analysis.

This was a big day for my colon. For the first 19 years of its existence, the terrorist attacks it endured were largely ignored. It was never taken seriously and was often blamed for the way its owner "faked" being sick. One hot day a few years ago, it was treated to a barium bath and was finally able to announce to the authorities that it wasn't lying after-all. It wanted to fight with the barium, but it wasn't quite a fighting organ, and the radioactivity took over and illuminated its faults. A new name it was given, Crohn's, as if intestine and colon weren't gross enough. With its new identity, came new attention and new friends. New friends were old friends. Bland food often eaten by babies often came for a visit.

With time and force by its host country, it healed. But, an offensive army, rather than one with a strong defense, it was no match to a fresh onslaught by the sleeper TNF-Alpha. It seems TNF-Alpha only fights when provoked by the larger, more threatening immune system. And TNF-Alpha may seem innocent, but it's a bit psychotic, because once it starts, it doesn't know how to stop. The colon was once again depressed and got sick again following a intense unrelenting bombing session. The authorities once again stepped in and equipped the colon with a new biologic treatment. The biologic treatment was a new, unfounded defense for the colon and it responded nicely. However, the biologic treatment often required a great deal of help from a "neutral" source in the blood stream. One could never fully trust this neutral source to do its job completely, especially when it started to become comfortable with its surroundings. In this case, it might stop working. But, it chugged along. Thanks to this neutral source, the colon could relax, meet new friends, go on vacation from being sad, and stretch its skin a bit. It started to heal.

Eventually what was good started to be taken for granted. The neutral source stopped working days and sometimes weeks before it was supposed to, allowing the sleeper TNF-Alpha to pass through its unwitting gates. The authorities had been bugging the host country to have some pictures taken for months, but the host country was reluctant. Why shake up the colon when it's keeping to itself? It was feeling ok and letting friends come for visits. But, it was time.

The colon does not want to comment on how it prepared for its photo shoot. And it honestly does not remember having its picture taken. Fortunately, we have a contact sheet. What was discovered was 75% of it is nice, healthy, and pink. Congratulations, colon. The other 25% is healing and still resembling a black hole. The neutral source has agreed to dispense its biologic treatment more frequently, so hopefully nothing will fall into the black hole. Hopefully it will be pink next time it has a photo shoot.

Hopefully one day we can stop the rogue immune system regime that dispenses TNF-Alpha at innapropriate times. The authorities need to learn more about its covert operations.